And thus begins...

...another year at camp wapiti!

This will be my fourth year, but this year has a lot of firsts in it. I am the assistant director this year. Big first. Big change in focus and job description, and this requires a lot more thinking ahead and planning...organizational stuff. Lets say that I am glad for the chance to learn these lessons, the public education system taught me how to survive without planning ahead and to get the best grade vs time studying ratio. I am pretty good at thinking on my feet and can usually come up with something in a last minute scenario, and have a tendancy not to panic as much in pressure situations. These are good things, but the planning and preperation, not so much. I need those skills, and am glad for the chance to grow there. It'll be a journey getting there, but thats what its all about...

Perhaps the biggest change will be that my focus is not on the campers this year. My focus is to make sure everything is in place and prepared so that the staff can focus on their campers. So direct involvement with the campers is not my primary focus, and that will be a challenge, because that is what I have done the last 3 years at camp, and that is who I am. What used to be my main purpose now could be a distraction from my main purpose. So that is an adjustment that must be made.

At LTD training this weekend, I had a great time with the staff and I am stoked to see where God takes us individually and as a team this summer. Its gonna be a good journey, but it won't be all peaches and cream. There is an issue that will be present throughout the summer that at times this weekend caused my brain to just about explode. I mentioned blowing a piston in my last post, this was like total engine meltdown (I just heard the voice of the onboardcomputer of the mechs in Mechwarrior 2 saying "Internal tempereature 1800 Kelvin. Shutdown imminent". Oh yes! those were the days!) But yeah, and the stupid thing is, I know that God is in control and no amount of analyzing or scenario playing will bring me to a better point of understanding here. I know that. But it is still a battle to put that wisdom into action. That war won't be over till Jesus comes back, but until then our faith will always be opposed..

Satan is constantly filling our heads with stuff to think about, and it is very hard to lay those thoughts to rest. Satan is relentless, and I struggle with being dilligent in my resistance, its like the annoying brat of a child who is always asking for candy or toys or animals or food. Its a chore to say no to that forever, and its hard to disregard the millions of thoughts in your head.

But the spirit has power over the mind, and for those of us who have Christ alive in us, there is freedom from the curse of overthinking. People say smoking takes 10 years off your life. That may be true, but I betcha that overthinking takes 15 years off your life and causes another 15 years of your life to be miserable.

When Paul talks about the peace that transcends understanding, I always believed that meant that we could not understand the peace that God gives. I still believe that, but I see that in the literal sense now, that the peace he refers to actually is greater than understanding. Overrides it. Vetos it. Annihilates it. Ignores it. I'm gonna find that whole verse.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

hey, check out the next verse!

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
Phillipians 4:8-9

Those verses speak for themselves. Focus on the eternal, the things of the spirit. The brain will not survive the voyage to the other side of eternity. It will not be needed there for we will feast with wisdom and we will dance with understanding.

The wisest person who will ever walk the planet said this: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"

If the greatest display of mortal wisdom says his own wisdom is not good enough, then that says something to the rest of us, who are really, really lacking in the wisdom department. Its says something like..."You're screwed." But if he then says, "now the LORD....there's someone you can trust in completely folks." well then that says another thing doesn't it?

Throw up a prayer for all of us at camp as you read this, and pray that in those areas where trusting Jesus is not yet automatic reflex (not yet) that the peace Paul talks about would fall upon us in power. Its my prayer for you as well, wherever you are.

Godspeed and blessings to the Cuba team! Pray for them at 11:45am on friday, they will not make it through customs without God's hand.

Oh and be careful of when you open up your bible, it might be the last thing you do today :)

Stepping back and looking forward

What a great weekend this was. It was the Beaverlodge Alliance family camp at moonshine lake. We have gone there several times in the past for church campouts. It brought back some interesting memories from 9 years ago. Crazy.

I got there late friday night, around 12:30 or so, and joined some people by the campfire. It was windy and the pastor stood up and turned around, saying he was going to use his back to break the wind. I waited a good 10 seconds for my dad to make some comment related to "breaking wind" and how he should be careful with the fire so close or something. He said nothing. That was probably the strangest event of the evening, dad does NOT miss opportunities like that, and considering the roll he was on...you should have seen him, he had everyone laughing. Except me of course, I just marvel at how he can do that with such quirky comments.

My dad rules! Happy Fathers day!

So eventually it was down to 3 of us, myself, Matt Sterkenberg and Amanda Reimer. Known them both for quite some time, especially Amanda. We talked around that fire about what had been happening in our lives and that was really great to do that with friends I do not see very often anymore. As you can imagine, the fire, plus semi-to-extremely tired people, plus personal stuff equals crawling into the sleeping bag somewhere close to 5 o clock. There was about 40 minutes of me alone on the dock of the lake somewhere in there too.

Saturday was awesome, I read CS Lewis' book "The Great Divorce" Great book. played some football, baseball, guitar, ate some food. you know. the usual campout esperience.

Come supper time, the Jones family pulled out their 27 inch TV and pulled it into the shelter. Tal had brought his amp and stereo system, and my dad nabbed a singal booster from a fellow teacher. They rigged up the antenna and sound system and when the puck dropped there were about 50 people sitting in the shelter watching hockey on a 27 inch TV sitting on 2 tables stacked on top of eachother, and listening to like 300 watts of sound coming out of 4 speakers.

I know what is camping and what is not. But I am making an exception.

THAT is camping.

So after that Tal lost his new glasses and our massive search effort came up short. So we said we'd try later, then Tal foudn them right where he was standing when he lost them, that was really funny. We all went to fireside and sang songs I can barely, and I do mean barely recall from the days of my youth. We sang my God is so big, and some kids were diong actions in the back. After it was done I told them we had to do the mini version, which I then proceeded to sing Way to flippin high. Gross. Then we did the big version, and out of the whole crew, myself in the dead centre and about 4 way way in the back were just giving it hard. Noone else moved.
It was quite a spectacle, and someone commented on my performance and enthusiasm saying, I guess thats why hes at camp. Yeah I guess. I wish little mikey mulligan was there, he would have put em all to shame. Yes, there is something about that childlike ignorance of what your audience thinks of you that is stolen from us all too often.

Your audience is, was and always will consist of only one person. And you know what he thinks of you. If you don't, email me and I will gladly tell you. kalebmanalive@hotmail.com

Went to bed after a rousing game of poker and woke up to a very interesting sunday service featuring a play for our moment in missions that was quite interesting. A couple from our church then shared their journey with God and where it has taken them. I ran into this couple at breakforth and sat beside them for a session, I don't know them very well beyond that, and I certainly did not know what the husband shared, that he had been married before, and his wife died in a car accident. Wow. But he shared the story from there, and it really was amazing to hear of God's provision for him through his new wife, who is very much alive. It reminded me of how people are the instrument of God in his minstering to us. I really love my time alone with God, but I was reminded that God speaks to us, minsters to us, provides for us, and loves us through people. Satan loves to get us isolated so he can speak his deceptions to us unhindered by the truth God speaks to us through others. Awesome reminder for me.

After driving 40 km in the wrong direction coming home, adding about an hour onto my driving time (dont....ask) I am home after what was a very neat weekend and in many ways, it was much needed.

It was a time to stop for a day or two and step back. Step out of what has been going on in my life and search for God in there. It was a chance to be ministered to by my brothers and sisters in Christ, through simple fellowship. It was a chance to hear God speak through others into my life. It was a chance to slow down. breathe. If these things don't happen, I find I really start thinking WAY too much. We need to think, God gave us a brain, but i honestly find that those times when we are kind of depressed or out of it or down are also the times when our brains are just about ready to blow a piston. Its worth mentioning that this is my experience, but maybe its yours to, and if it is, I encourage you to get away or find a place where you can give the ol bean a rest. I don't konw what that looks like for you, but God does and you can ask him.

When you can stop and figure out where you are.....actually, forget where you are, WHO you are...once you figure that out, then you can look forward to who you want to be. I really think thats the question we need to ask. Where you are is the natural outcome of who you have been in past circumstances. But you aren't defined by where you are, but who you are.

Or maybe who you think you are. Like in Ice Age 2 when that mammoth chick thinks shes a.....whatever. rat we will say. Its not until she realizes that she is a mammoth that she bagins living like one. Like when Peter and John enter the tomb in John 20 and when John sees the linen Jesus was wrapped in, he saw and believed in the resurrection. Jesus had told them he was coming back, but until it clicked there was knowledge, but not expeirience. Back in september I crossed that plane...maybe its one that we need to keep crossing...or remembering at any rate. Those jews were very good at remembering. Probably cause God designed their culture and didn't want them to forget.

Ever read people magazine? Well that last paragraph is your seven degrees of difference between Ice Age 2 and ancient Jewish culture. I think thats people magazine....

And I think thats time I stop.

A.D.D.....Assistant Director Disorder

Hello me. Sometimes I get the feeling I am the only one who reads this. I don't post often enough to keep people interested. But if there are others out there, hello to you too. Thanks for tuning in!

Yoy. Its a month into my assistant director position at camp. It started off real good, real productive. It was actually kind of wierd for those reasons. But it didn't quite last and I started slippin a little bit in the focus department. The wednesday meeting was a good refocuser and energizer, but today was a bit of a bad day. I didn't set a schedule ahead of myself and so I kinda meandered through the day. Darren and I had a chat about it, and some of it could be attributed to the fact that friday and monday I was not working but at Grad and then in Edmonton with the Wilson family to pick up Caitlin from her Mission trip to Africa! THAT was a weekend to remember, grad and west ed and the whole bit, it was amazing! Then Caitlin came back after a month! It was so good to see her again, and all things considered, she was pretty..um...un-out of it. Not entirely but... anywayz. So there was that.

But the thing we decided was that the line between my work life and personal life is too blurry. I don't plan enough and when I do I can't stick to it, so my time is spent doing whatever pops into my head, and when I am working, personal things pop into my head and I do them instead of work, and when I am doing personal stuff,
I try to bring work into that to compensate. If that sounds confusing to you, then you will understand that it is confusing to live that way and it results in inefficiency, frustration, and your quality of life diminishes overall.

Thank God that Darren is really good about those things! I apologized for not really being organized and such and for bringing non work stuff into work stuff, and he just said "Kaleb, we knew this would be an issue when we hired you and Kaleb, I know you are going to get there in the end, so its no big deal."

That pretty much made me feel like...good. real good. he could not have said anything more meaningful and reassuring. And he sure could have said something that would have been hurtful. This is an area I am really pretty sensitive about. My Dad gets a lot of stuff done and I never seem to be organized or focused enough to get stuff done, and it is a pretty big frustration for me. So that was about the best thing I could hear.

Its that future grace thing. Darren says that he knows I will make it and this is just part of the process. Kind of like Jesus tells us we will make it and our issues and struggles are just part of the process. Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light, and I think this is what he is talking about. We are gonna make it, so its no big deal. Look forward. Instead of trying to move forward and dragging our identity with us, Jesus says that he is our identity and we find ourselves being drawn more and more to him, not dragging anything, just leaving it behind because its no longer who we are.

thank you Jesus that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. Help me to stop carrying any burden but yours, help me stop trusting my efforts to change and trust yours, help me to stop paving my own way to my perfection and to follow your still small voice gently leading me down the path you set before me.

And keep me humble, so I am able to accept your correction and serve others the way you did.

The best thing about Jesus is its win win. You can't possibly lose, cause even when things are sucky and you sin and you are selfish and you fail, you find yourself at the feet of God. Where you wanted to be in the first place. Evil truly cannot bring you down, only trick you.

Congratulations to all the Graduates this year, thank you Robyn for asking me to go to grad with you, it was an honor and a TON of fun! Mindbender baby, oh yeah. Welcome home Caitlin, it was pretty grand seeing you at the airport when you saw your family.
haha, no clue :)

Gonna run here. Got cousins up from Vancouver, gonna go ask em how the Canucks are doin this year.

BOOO YA! GO OILERS!